No Plan B

We've often been told to be prepared or ready for anything. For instance, have your cell phone next to your bed so you can call for help quickly if you hear an intruder. Or, have your car keys next to your bed and if you hear an intruder push the car alarm button which wake up the neighborhood. Being ready to be on the offense and take action is important for our safety and security.

However, having a "Plan B" in marriage is not a good idea. I was recently told that a young engaged woman had told her friend "if it doesn't work out I will get a divorce." Huh?
If you're going into marriage with this thought in the back of your mind then you have a "Plan B." What will her vows sound like? "In sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty -- well not really; I have an escape plan." If you have a "Plan B" your marriage is already doomed; you might as well not spend all the time and money on that wedding.

Wait a minute! When you make the commitment of marriage you become one. That man becomes a son-in-law, father, uncle, brother-in-law. He's married to the whole family like it or not. When a child is involved its no longer just about what you want. They didn't sign up for "Plan B." Hearts, hopes and dreams are involved for the rest of their lives.

Its the attitude that I'm talking about -- "Plan B." Had I thought that "Plan B" was a viable possibility I probably would have used it before the ninth year of marriage. Adjustments are difficult. Unrealized expectations dissapoint. It always seems greener in someone else's pasture. But at the darkest points in the road I knew I had to make it work. I had to adjust, change my perception. I discovered that I needed just as much work as my husband if not more. There was no "Plan B" but there was the guiding principles of Colossians 3. I surrendered to Plan A, the transforming presence of God and the hard work of change. I'm now in my 39th year of marriage.

However, I didn't begin my marriage with the nagging thought that I might need a "Plan B." There was no hint that he might be mentally or physically abusive. There was no suspicion of mental illness or narcicisstic behavior. There was no prior knowledge of sexual deviance. There was no yellow caution light flashing in my head. If you're engaged and have any of these suspicions then you're playing with fire and will probably get burned. Get out now and you won't need a "Plan B."

God's idea of marriage is "forever". He knows that with His grace and living the principles of His Word we can make marriage work. However, He made provision for divorce because of the sinfulness of man. Unfortunately, there are reasons for divorce or "Plan B." But don't go into marriage with a "Plan B". No "Plan B", please!