The Tune-Up

Pastor has been talking passionately and directly to our hearts with the present series of “Government Begins in the Home”. The focus begins in the relationship between husband and wife; how we show love, respect and caring for each other. Although this self-examination of our hearts may cause a whirl of different emotions to churn inside, it is essential, it is vital to our relationship with God and our spouse.


If we each were asked where we were and how we felt on September 11, 2001, I believe that we all would share in the enormous tragedies that occurred on that day. But, if we were to delve deeper, we would have to admit that the real crime and tragedy was that such a nightmare could even happen to us on our own soil. It should have never happened.


I believe the same is true in our marriages. Three years ago, my husband, David and I were at such a place. For two people who had so loved each other, how could so many things go wrong? These things were never to happen, not to us. But they did happen, and on our own soil. It did not happen overnight, years of deterioration and neglect led up to that moment. We were at our own Ground Zero.


The truth can be very painful; but living without it is torturous. Without truth, there can be no healing. We must also be careful ladies of one of our greatest faults, self-righteousness. The Bible references this as being the greatest sin. Many women, myself included, may have felt or feel that they are doing everything right, it is their husband that has/had the problem. This view also lends to an attitude of denial and lacking any accountability on our parts. Take an example where you and your spouse have had an argument. Let’s say that you see your husband as being 80% wrong, and you, 20% in the wrong. Then, own up to your part, and ask God to help you with the 20% of that battle. Don’t try to lay all the cards out on the table for your husband as to how you perceive his being 80% wrong. Don’t try to control his behaviors or thought processes. The only thing we control is our own reactions and behaviors.

Our relationship tune-ups and maintenance must be on-going. What thoughts am I having about my spouse? How do I talk to and treat him/her? What are my actions saying? If God would not be happy with our answers to any of these questions, we must make the time to address them now --- not 6 months down the road. Take the time to love each other, and ask God to bless your marriage in truth and wisdom

You and your spouse may be at different places in the walk with the Lord. Perhaps your spouse has not asked the Lord to meet him/her in their heart. Above all else, pray for your spouse’s salvation.

Respectfully submitted by Lisa A. Boothe