PDD is "Perception Deception Disorder" as we discovered in the previous post. Lisa Boothe sent us a perfect example of PDD in action. I thought I would share it with you here.
Eighteen years ago, while my first two children were small, I ran a family day care during the day from my home, and then worked the night shift at Catalog Resources, which used to be across from Kraft. Working the 6:00 pm to 2:00 am shift, I started on the Telemarketing floor, handling the incoming calls for catalog orders, and just really beginning my computer skills.
My Supervisor’s name was Diane (name changed). And for whatever reasons, it seemed obvious that she did not particularly care for me. Being new, I had lots of questions. I would raise my hand for help while on a “live” call with a customer, and Anna seemed reluctant to come and assist me. There were between 5-7 women (normally), working the phones during the later part of the shift. Diane seemed friendly to most of them but me. She kept her distance.
One night, scheduled for my break, I put my phone on “make busy”, and started walking down the hall towards the bathroom. It has always been a habit for me to hum or whistle, and I was whistling a tune on my stroll. Diane, coming from the break room, was headed my way back to
Telemarketing. I stopped whistling, and looked at her, smiling, and said “Hello, Anna”. Her face was firm and unyielding, with no return of a smile….she replied a forced “hello”, and kept her pace. After a few more steps I hear her utter, “Jezebel”.
“Jezebel”. Now, I did not know at that time who or what a “Jezebel” was. But I did know how Diane said it, and it made my heart sink. I continued to walk to the bathroom as my eyes filled up with tears. Why does this woman appear to detest me so?
That night I picked-up my Grandma’s Bible for the first time in a long time. I read enough about Jezebel to see that Diane was comparing me to a very wicked woman. It is true that a that time of my life, (in my upper 20’s), I did love wearing dark brown or burgundy lipstick---but was that a fatal flaw? I began praying for Diane, and to God for guidance as to how/why this woman could see me in such an evil light.
The time had come for my 60-day review with my supervisor, Diane. I knew she was going to fire me. This woman clearly wanted me gone.
As I waited in the break room for Diane I could feel myself shaking as I was anticipating doomsday. I prayed quietly to myself and sipped on a cup of coffee. In walks Diane with paper and a pen in hand.
To my surprise, my overall evaluation was very good---Diane had monitored a lot of my calls. As she spoke, she would hardly make eye contact with me. When it came time for me to sign my evaluation, I asked her, as nicely and politely as I could, “Diane, have I done something to hurt you?” Immediately taken back at the question, she replied “No – what do you ask that?!?”
This led, finally, to a drop in her huge defensive barriers.
As we talked and tried to get to know one another, her view of me was strongly shaped by her childhood teachings and perceptions. Basically, she was brought up believing, that any woman who “whistled” was a “loose” woman, or a prostitute. My wearing of dark lipstick, in Diane’s mind, further engrained this image. This was a true wake-up call for me. I could not believe what I was hearing. To Diane, this was how she had “sized me up”, it was her reality.
As God works his miracles, over time, Diane and I became very good friends. We did eventually share a huge laughing and crying ceremony over our very rocky start…thank you, God.
Ladies, we do need to be careful not to pre-judge one another. We need to take the time to
get to know one another, and allow each other to be our unique selves…the Chick Café is a wonderful opportunity to do just that.
Walking in God’s love and truth will help us to prevent Perception Deception Disorder. God Bless You!
Lisa B.
3 comments:
I didn't want to post to this, but my mind will have no rest. Although I missed Chick Cafe, I wonder if my own PDD worked, in addition to sick children, in keeping me home.
As much as I am loathe to admit it, I compare and judge other women at church, and my failings are quite apparent. In a secular social situation, I know I can hold my own against anyone;however, there is no faking at church. I look at the established women in the church and how they can quote scripture, always have a prayer, are in small groups, are in each other's homes, and I know I don't belong. I see their confidence and absolute trust in a God with whom, at times, I still battle.
I wonder how they got to where they are, but I am not bold enough to ask. What would they say? What would they think? Church makes me nervous; can they tell? While everyone has always been so wonderful to me, I worry about the cost of being too close.
I know that as I see God's women glittering like diamonds as they pray and worship, I am His cubic zirconia.
Michelle,
Thank you for commenting on PDD. I'm sure you're not the only woman who feels like you don't belong. I would love to hear how others would answer your questions. Your analogy of the cubic Zirconia is aperfect PDD. I want to wait for others to answer your questions before I make any other comments.
Does anyone else feel like Michelle?
How did some of your "diamonds" get to where you are?
Can you tell that some women are cubic zirconia instead of diamonds? Or is that just a perception deception?
What do you think about her admission?
Would she be safe for her to get closer?
Michelle
Hopefully with help from a few Sisters who reach out and speak some good words into you and let you see them "warts and all" so to speak, when they are just a "lump of coal", you will be able to trust them and be inspired and mentored. They should of course be pointing you to God who always sees us a diamond. God sees us as who we shall become.
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