How to know if you're a Jerk

Most of us would never think that we would fall in love with a Jerk. But just talk to many who are divorced and they’ll tell you they didn’t either. So just what are the criteria for being a jerk? Well, first Jerks come in both genders; it’s not specific to one gender.

According to Dr. John Van Epp, founder of Love Thinks, the most fundamental identifying feature of true jerks is their persistent resistance to never changing their core jerk qualities. NEVER! Of course, they never show these qualities before you are blinded by the hormones that produce the euphoria that causes you to be blind to them. The part of your brain ithat produces judgment is literally turned off by the hormones so you don’t see the negative traits until it’s too late.

What are some of those core jerk qualities?

• Jerks habitually break boundaries
• Players – play the field, need the fix.
• Space invaders – what’s yours is mine; entitled to your attention, interest, money, time, and emotional support. You have to adjust to their agenda
• Utter Inability to see anything from anyone else’s perspective –
• This will be very frustrating but easy to overlook at first.
• You never feel understood or validated.
• In time you feel invisible to your partner
• Dangerous lack of emotional controls or balance
• Failure to express emotions appropriately immobilizes ones ability to build healthy relationships.
• Immature and emotionally turbulent or
• Emotionally flat and inexpressive
• Either explosive and overly reactive or
• Flatliners – seem easy going but later you discover that they are cold and detached.
• Emotionally unstable people are usually very good at the beginning of the relationship.

Believe me, Pastor and I have dealt with many married couples who never realized they were displaying the qualities of a jerk because they were blinded to their own selfish, issue produced behavior.

So What are the Signs of Being in Danger of Falling for a Jerk?

Relationship too fast paced’ accelerated attachment is like superglue

· Overlook and minimize problems

· Blinds vision; see the part and not the whole.

· Intoxicates your hormones and emotions so that you feel safe and secure in the poor relationship.

You could be in love with a jerk or be a jerk and not even realize it. I’ll share Pastor and my experience of being jerks in the next post and what we did. But until then, please consider attending this workshop to empower you to build a healthy dating relationship instead of being blinded by love.

Go to www.lovethinksde.com for more information or to register.

“Emotional Bonding is intrinsic to relationships and learning how you bond provides a practical guide for pacing your relationships. This is way to be immunized against the love-is-blind infection.” Dr. John Van Epp